The Definition of ‘Ego’ and Why It Doesn’t Matter!

The Definition of Ego

For years I have thought that the ‘Ego’ was the enemy. That devil on your shoulder that keeps you ‘safe’. Safe from real or imagined threats. That voice in your head that is constantly nagging at you whether you realise it or not. Whether you hear it or not.

I have read many books that say that the ego is the negative self speak that undermines our higher purpose. Doreen Virtue calls it “the lower self or false guidance.” For example:

True Guidance

Everything is going to work out great.

False Guidance

What if it doesn’t?

Doreen Virtue – Divine Guidance

When you look at the psychoanalytical definition of ego (not the guy kissing muscles definition) as follows:


“The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.”

Bing

This definition of the ego is almost the direct opposite of the ‘false guidance’ that Doreen Virtue talks about. I am not a philosopher by any stretch of the imagination but until recently, I leant more to the view that the ego is primarily our negative self speak. That voice in our heads that stops us doing what is in our best interest or tell us that we are not enough.

Divine Guidance to the Rescue

I firmly believe that there is a difference between divine guidance and false guidance. Doreen Virtue notes that there are characteristics of divine guidance. According to Doreen Virtue, true guidance is:

  1. Mature – Supportive and motivational
  2. Consistent – Similar messages supporting you on a particular path
  3. About helping others
  4. Doesn’t procrastinate – Nudging us to pursue our true purpose
  5. Strong and powerful
  6. Sounds familiar
  7. Supportive
  8. Comes suddenly and completely
  9. Never puts us above or below others

So, in that thinking the ego is the opposite of all of the above. And, this is partially the reason why I have always seen the ego as something to be stomped! Wiped out. Turned around. Ignored. But….

Anita Moorjani’s book (Dying to be Me) started me thinking a bit differently about the ego and how we perceive it. The way I understand it is that Anita is saying that we shouldn’t try to park our ego speak entirely because it is there for a reason. But, if the ego is working for us in the negative, we should acknowledge it and then try to work from a position of love.

“If you deny the ego, it will push back against you harder. The more you reject something, the more it fights back for it’s own survival. But when you can completely live your ego unconditionally and accept it as part of how you express in this life, you’ll no longer have a problem with it. It won’t impede your growth – on the contrary, it will be an asset.”

Anita Moorjani – Dying to be me

The Good News – We Can Change!

For a long time, I had a paralysing fear of public speaking. So, I have been using a number of mental tools to wipe this out. But, it has helped me to realise that our fears or ego speak are an opportunity to overcome that which we are afraid of. If we truly turn our ego’s to our advantage as Anita writes, we would view the world in an entirely different way and behave totally differently as well.

Think how much more we would do if we used our fears (or ego speak) as fuel to do all of the things that we are afraid of? Because, chances are those fears are our higher self’s way of telling us that we are not living our highest self’s true purpose.

I am reading John Assaraf’s new book at the moment. In the book, John talks about AiA.

A: Awareness

I: Intention

A: Action

John Assaraf –
“Innercise – The New Science To Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Power”

John takes a bit more of a scientific view of the ego based language we hear on a daily basis but he does support the view that we can use those fears as a means to grow providing we are Aware of the fear, have an Intention to change it AND take Action.

According to John, “from an evolutionary perspective, being sceptical, unsure, and negative is a valuable trait. It helps stop you from impulsively indulging in risky behaviour, like gambling or overeating.” But, he also cautions that we don’t use our ‘stories’ to stay stuck.

So, to an exciting conclusion.


The definition of Ego doesn’t matter. What we do to change it does!

90 Days to Change – Yeah Right!

Don’t Believe the Hype – Spirituality doesn’t work to a timepiece!

During winning the Game of Fear, John Assaraf demonstrated this lovely graph. It was your standard bell curve graph that showed a 90 day timeline. The graph referenced showed that a habit or programming generally fades into the distance at the end of a 90 day period.

……………………………………………………………….Yeah Right!

I started my new and positive routine on the 16th of April and here’s the proof. 

I work that out to be 189 days! If you guessed that I sound pissed off that I am not living my dream life with my 3 houses, kids financially independent, health 100% excellent, 100% positive, trekking around the world, working from home with my profitable/successful online business – you would have guessed right.

Pissed off might be a bit of an overstatement but I haven’t manifested any of the things that I have been visualising for the last 189 days. In all of the online forums and communities I belong to, I read about people manifesting anything they want instantaneously by applying the things that I have been applying in my life for the past 189 days. It is disheartening. Especially when I hark back to John’s bell curve.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing it all wrong? Is manifesting just for other people? Is it time to stop wasting my time?

No! Recap?

Back in April, I was doing it all.

  • Eddie Sergey’s – 15 Minute Manifestation
  • Natalie Ledwell’s – Ultimate Success Masterclass and Mind Movies
  • John Assaraf’s – Winning the Game of Fear
  • Vishen Lakhiani’s – 6 Phase Meditation from Mind Valley
  • Daily affirmations
  • On and Off hypnosis with Marissa Peer

What I have learnt is that I can’t do it all at once – or probably shouldn’t. Still not 100% sure because ‘IT’ hasn’t worked yet.

Or has it?

Time to recap. Since April, I have:

  • Laughed more
  • Seen a significant change in my thinking
  • Seen an improvement in my relationship with my daughter
  • Reacted to challenging situations in my life a WHOLE lot better
  • Been more relaxed
  • Felt good about my commitment to my morning routine
  • Fought for and got a refund to the value of $4,000 from a merchant who promises at the time of purchase that there is absolutely no chance of a refund post purchase
  • Worked from home a LOT more = Had time to earn an income from a job and grow my business
  • Had a small win with Lotto
  • DECLUTTERED my life

Time to Hunker Down

After a recap and a quick slap to the side of my head, I realise that my ‘demon’ are at it again. Manifesting isn’t about getting ‘stuff’ or instantly being the best person we can be. It’s all about the journey. I know that I keep banging on about it but whenever I catch myself in negative thinking, this is always where I come back to. Dah! Don’t forget – it’s about the bloody journey. And it’s been a helluva ride so far.

It’s not the fastest ride but it’s still awesome – and no, this is not me.

What I know is that I enjoy my morning routine (which is now a whole lot simpler) and I am changing. I am absolutely seeing positive results. It may not be the results that I was expecting or wanting but do I care? Not really. I’m enjoying the ride and looking forward to seeing what comes next.

In many of the books that I have read, the point is made that when you are experiencing the negative feelings sometimes associated with the Art of Manifesting – it’s time to hang on with all of your appendages! Keep up the good fight. Keep calm and carry on. Battle on.  Keep moving forward. All that good stuff. There is zero value in comparing yourself and your progress to anyone elses!

I firmly believe it! As Wayne Dyer says:

Change the things that you are looking at and the things that you are looking at will change.

Wayne Dyer

It has to. It’s the Law.

Bring on day 190!

Tania halpin