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Over 50? Who Cares!

Today I came across this article and it got me thinking.

https://www.nowtolove.com.au/lifestyle/daily-life/women-over-50-58209

Over the years, I often heard my mother speak about ‘feeling invisible’. Of course, what she meant  was that when you reach a certain age – people stop ‘seeing’ you. You become that older ‘person’ that is past there prime and no longer a head turner or someone to be noticed.

Over 50? What’s the issue.

In my 20’s, I couldn’t really understand the concept. In my 30’s, I kind of could but thought that if you’re in a committed, loving relationship why would I care who else looks at me? Now that I am in my 50’s, I am pleased to say that I still don’t care whether I am invisible to those that I don’t know or care what they do or don’t think of me. I’m loving being in a place where such things don’t matter.

But, clearly I am in the minority as I did a bit more looking around and found tonnes of articles about ‘Women over 50’. Why not men over 50?

Knowing What’s Important?

I am the first to acknowledge the glass ceilings and sexual bias that is in the workplace. Any woman that works has seen it. It doesn’t matter if that is in corporate offices or women building houses. It is all the same. There will always be a gender bias whilst there are men and women on the planet. 

Admittedly (for most people) the divide isn’t as big as it used to be. More and more women are taking their spots in the Boardroom and doing better than a lot of other men in the workplace. I’m proud to say that in a lot of cases we are showing men up – in a good way. Taking our power back.

But, then I read articles like this about how we’re (women) not invisible and am reminded about how much and how often the smallest slights hold women back. In a lot of cases, stopping women from using their voice to find their place!

I know that it sounds like I’m mad. But I’m not. I’m not even sad about it. But I do acknowledge it.

I acknowledge that there is still a lot of sexual discrimination in the world with women taking the brunt of the negative side affects. All of us women should stand up to protect each other when we see it (and should but usually don’t) but we can also choose a different path.

I may not be sad or mad but I am also choosing how I react to this over 50 bullocks. I’m choosing to focus on what’s important. And that’s living my life my way and not getting dragged down or aged before my time because the media or society decrees it’s a ‘thing’.

Having The Confidence To Shine At Any Age!

Unlike my 20’s, in my 50’s I am more confident, bolder, less likely to take shit, more financially secure, more in control of my life and how I choose to feel – not all the time but far from my self indulgent 20’s! It would have been nice to feel like this my whole life but the truth is – most of us never achieve that. We spend our whole lives trying to find that missing piece or trying to be someone we’re not.

My plan is to make sure that I spend the rest of my life shining – irrespective of what my age is! I don’t believe that the opinion of others or social barriers placed on our societies (and ourselves subconsciously or otherwise) have any hold on me. 

There is no doubt that one of my main drivers to escape the corporate world was because of glass ceilings and men thinking that they can do a better job simply because they are men. But, I have to say that these days – women can be just as bad. Some women in the workplace have decided it’s a good idea to emulate the behaviours of men. But, how does that benefit the global consciousness or anyone for that matter? Trying to be more masculine because it seems to be the way to get ahead is as inauthentic as it gets and harmful to self.

I spend more time online now than I ever have. I read, listen to audios, belong to forums, belong to groups and participate in a lot of group training. It’s scary how there seems to be a common theme. Women having to support other women (and ourselves) to use our voices more. To be all that we were meant to be. 

There is no denying that most of us (in this generation) have been conditioned (to a degree) to kow tow to men. Conditioned to believe that we are invisible when we get to a certain age. That our opinion doesn’t count. But, it’s all BRULE’s!

BRULE’s – Bullshit Rule’s

Vishen Lakhiani – Code of the Extraordinary Mind

See the Brules article here.

Vishen Lakhiani – Code of the Extraordinary Mind

It’s time to stop copying the behaviours of men (or anyone else for that matter) and use our own voices to be authentic and be vulnerable when we need to be – without fear.

Don’t Get Me Wrong. I Love Men!

Seriously. I don’t want to be seen as that man hating liberalist female that refuses to shave my armpits or step through doors when a man opens it for me. There’s nothing wrong with that but it’s not for me. 

Men are awesome and have held a very strong and valuable place in our lives, in our societies – building our cities, staving off invaders, hunting and gathering, helping to care for our families – being great men! 

The stereotypical qualities of men have been needed. Men (and women) have needed these qualities to survive. I’m just not sure that we should try to be more like the ‘stereotypical’ men. There’s a reason we are different and women will shine the brightest when we do it our way.

Maybe, we just need to try and rub off on the stereotypical men folk a bit more, lead more and voice more. 

Lead by doing and being vulnerable. Let the world know it’s safe.

Finding Balance

I follow so many great men and women online as I am sure everyone does. But, as in everything there are stereotypical men and stereotypical women that will fight hard to keep the status quo because they don’t know any other way.

We in the know need to step up. We need to find a balance as our most authentic selves. Stop competing and realise that we can all choose the path we want to be on. 

No more glass ceilings, sexist jokes or barriers for me!

Being Spiritual Ain’t That Simple!

Reasons why people struggle with spirituality.

I have been interested in spirituality (I didn’t know it was called this when I was little) from childhood. I used to sneak into my parent’s room to read the ‘secret’ witchcraft magazines my Mum had. The freaky pictures on the front cover used to scare me but fascinate me at the same time. They often involved nudity, so there was something a bit naughty as well. The mysterious shapes and words in those magazines set me on a life of seeking something more. I will never regret those daring forays into my parent‘s room. I probably still wouldn’t admit it to my Mum though!

What I do regret is that I have tried various ‘things’ in my life in an attempt to elevate my spiritual ‘powers’ but nothing has ever seemed to work. Well, certainly not from my (then) very limited, blocked and low vibe existence. The first attempt was doing Seances – I was younger than ten and had no idea what I was doing. That didn’t work but it freaked me out!

I tried meditation. That didn’t work. I tried reiki. That didn’t work. In fact, I came away from that experience feeling worse than ever because my “trauma” made the healer cry uncontrollably for the entire session!

I tried getting guidance from ‘psychics’ and ‘healers’. Not realising that some of them are absolute frauds! Needless to say, that didn’t work.  I even went to one Quack that told me I had died in a previous life on the rack so I needed to have my shoulders spun around my body for an hour and a half to release that trauma (it may be true but who knows – it didn’t help). All that left me with was a life time of gammy shoulders that click all the time from a repetitive strain injury. Go figure.

More Reading, More Confusion and More Distractions!

I started reading everything I could get my hands on that related to spirituality.

There has to be more to life! In an attempt to try and understand how to get where other more exalted and clearly luckier beings than me had got to. I read about The Celestine Prophecy (yes, it was that long ago), Post Death Experiences (PDE’s), Euthanasia, Past Lives, After Life, Paganism, Reincarnation (a big one), Regression Therapy, everything  Paranormal or Esoteric, Satanism (fascinated me for years), Demonology, Entities, Witchcraft. Even the motivation of Serial Killers. You get the point. I studied lots. Fixated would be an understatement. I knew a lot but it never really exposed any ‘truths’.

All that lead to was a decade of taking a LOT of A and B class drugs, watching lots of mind-altering and disturbing movies (the worse the better), hanging out with criminals and dimming down because that’s what you are supposed to do. Right?

Emotional and spiritual growth fully retarded, I worked. I still read a bit but I was more interested in my boyfriend, taking drugs, dramas and partying than anything else. Fiction became the read of choice. All distractions. Simply because I wasn’t “getting it”.

During that time, the internet took off. I became a sole parent to my daughter. Drug phase over.  Raise daughter, work, struggle. Raise daughter, work, start full time Uni, struggle. Raise school age daughter, work, continue Uni, struggle. Raise daughter, complete Uni, work, struggle. Meet my lovely partner of 14 years and his daughter, continue to raise children, buy house, work, struggle. As you have probably guessed,  I like to be repetitive. Again, you get the point. No time for internalising.

In the years that I had opted out, the internet took off and there was such a vast amount of information it boggled the brain. Worse! Heaps of people had learned the knack of tuning in and had created courses to help people like me! So much information. Down the rabbit hole again!

My Search For Meaning and Analysis Paralysis!

Now, with grown daughters, I find myself in a position where I can dedicate more time to developing my spiritual side with less distractions and more faith in what I know to be the spiritual world. But, where do you start?

Mantra’s, Meditation, Affirmations, contemplation, Subliminal re-programming, Prayer, Channelling, Higher consciousness, Dhammapada, Faith healing, Fasting, Chanting, Awakening, Inner peace, Karma, Buddhism, Metaphysics, Law of Attraction, Miracles, New age, Paganism, Qigong, rituals, Shamanism, Shinto, Transcendentalism, Yin Yang, Spiritual healing, Lucid dreaming, Mirror work, Angel healing, Crystal healing, Conversations with God, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Then, don’t get me started on my favourite authors that all have a different version of the truth  – their truth. All awesome, interesting, motivational stuff.

I certainly don’t have the time to devote every second of the day to a spiritual practice. Oh no! More spiritual rabbit hole. But, this time I am ducking for cover and running to bury my head in the sand. Still reading but getting more and more bogged down in analysis paralysis.

Analysis paralysis

Then, a breath of fresh air. I met a wonderful healer by the name of Judy Seiler who also lives in New Zealand but heals Internationally. Judy has been working with me for about three years and I have to say she (and her connection to Spirit) has been my saving grace. She has put me back together to the point where I am now focused enough to explore my own path as well in a more structured way.

So, the next journey begins out of sheer bloody frustration and because I feel more committed than ever to develop a consistent spiritual routine to expand as the spiritual being I am, having this human experience Hopefully, this will help others that are in the same boat as me.

Success is a journey